


If You're Not Here With Me

by idra



Series: 13 Days of Christmas (2017) [13]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas fic, Fluff and Angst, It's A Wonderful Life AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 12:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13146669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idra/pseuds/idra
Summary: Tony makes a wish he soon regrets.





	If You're Not Here With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Day 13. Posted on time! Last fic of this series. Prompt is It's a Wonderful Life.

Tony stands on top of the tower, eyes closed as the winds buffet around him. “You know... It would’ve been better if I’d never been born. Dad certainly would’ve been happier. Pepper would be fine. Rhodey? He wouldn’t have even noticed me gone. The team certainly would’ve been better off without me.” A tear drips down his cheek as he thinks of his estranged relationships with his team. He misses them, especially Steve. 

A strong wind blows up behind him and he feels himself being pushed towards the edge. Tony opens his eyes, staring out over the city. Another gust and Tony is falling. For a second, he thinks about ordering the suit to save him, but he’d rather it just be done and he not have to deal with anything anymore.

He opens his eyes and instead of seeing pavement, he’s looking around a white room. “Where am I?” 

“Always knew you were a bit thick,” comes a familiar voice.

Tony spins to face the voice, staring at Peggy Carter. “Aunt Peg?” 

“Hello, Tony, my darling.” She holds her arms open, enveloping him in a hug. He’s not even sure when she moved. “So, got yourself in a bit of a pickle, don’t you?” 

“Where am I?” 

“This is a sort of in between place. They thought I’d be the best person to convince you that you’re a fool.” Peggy raises an eyebrow. “Why did you not call the suit to you? Do you really want to devastate all of your friends?” 

“Like they’ll care. Rhodey’s never gonna walk again. Pepper is better off without me. Natasha, Clint, Bruce? They don’t need me. Never did. Steve...” Tony swallows hard. “Well, we’re better off not talking about Captain Uptight.” 

“Oh, my darling, you can’t fool me. Missing him hurts you the most.” Peggy strokes his hair.

“He’s an asshole who thinks he’s always right.” 

“He could be sort of uptight. Always dramatic that one.” Peggy grins. “Come now. Tell me your wish.” 

“I just... I wish I’d never been born. They’d all be better off without me.” 

Peggy raises an eyebrow, cocks her head to the side, and snaps her fingers. “Let it be so.” 

She fades from view and Tony is suddenly sprawled on the street, face down in a pile of snow. “What the fuck,” he curses under his breath. He pushes to his feet, looking around. The city he’d grown up in is decimated. “What happened?” he asks, looking around for other people. He stumbles down the road, into what he’s sure was once the library. He spots someone huddled in the corner and approaches them. “Hey. What’s going on? What happened?” 

“Who are you?” the kid asks, staring up at him.

“My name is Tony. What happened to the city?” 

“Where have you been?” The kid pulls himself up to his full height and Tony recognizes Peter.

“This is my first day back in the city in forever.” Tony smiles a little. “So....” 

“Aliens man. They came down and destroyed the city. Then the government nuked Manhattan. Destroyed all of the aliens, but also the city. I was looking for some of the tech.” 

“The government didn’t come and scoop it up?” 

“No one to come get it.” Peter shrugs. “I’m Peter.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Tony rubs a hand over his chest, realizing for the first time that his chest feels lighter than it has in forever. “I need to go,” he says, turning and running from the building. He keeps running until he’s well out of Manhattan and into Brooklyn. Once there, he finds the nearest library and, with a huge smile, starts looking up Pepper. His heart drops when he realizes she’s dead and Obadiah is still alive. It’s now Stane Industries and they’re still making weapons.

He sinks back in his seat and pauses for a moment before he looks up where’s Rhodey. He has to fight back a sob when he sees Killed in Action listed across Rhodey’s military file. He looks down and takes a deep breath, hack through the servers and into SHIELD. Shield, which is openly now Hydra. Tony sends a few quick bugs through, then searches for the location of any of his friends. Clint, Natasha, Maria, and Nick are all dead. Steve is a fugitive, the Winter Soldier is dead, Bruce is off of everyone’s radar, which Tony knows is for the best. But he also knows he’ll try to track the other man down.

Next he tracks down Thor, Jane and Darcy and he frowns when he sees that Jane and Darcy have been killed and Thor had gone on a rampage, destroying basically all of the southwest to avenge them. As a result, he was seen to be as much of an enemy of the state as Loki.

He checks next on Bruce, finding that the Hulk has taken over and as a result, Bruce is also a wanted man. Well, Hulk is, because Bruce has disappeared into the monster. Tony shakes his head. He looks up Sam Wilson, just to see, and finds the man had been killed in a fight between Steve and the Winter Soldier. Scott Lang is still in jail. Pietro and Wanda were also killed-- apparently, by the Hulk. Vision, Tony knew, would never have come to fruition, but neither would have Jarvis, Dum-E, Butterfingers, You.

Tony leaves the library and heads down the road, looking for the spot where he knows that the tower should be. “Okay, Aunt Peg. I get it, I am needed!” He tears up. “I thought they’d be better off, but they’re all dead or on the run.” He drops to his knees, tears flowing. “I just... I’d rather be alive and have them hating me.” 

“Oh, my darling,” Peggy says, wrapping her arms around Tony. “You are the most wonderful person I ever met. You were so much better than your father ever led you to believe. So much better than you yourself believed. You are loved, Tony. Your team loves you.” Peggy lifts up Tony’s chin. “Steve, he loves you. You just have to let him love you.” 

Tony snorts. “Yeah, right. Captain Tightpants loves me?” 

“You say tight pants like that’s a bad thing. Have you seen that ass, darling?” Peggy grins at him.

Tony laughs and shrugs a bit, smiling. “I have. It’s... impressive.” 

“All Steve too.” Peggy smiles, sitting next to Tony. “You would have loved pre-serum Steve. He was every bit as feisty and ferocious. Maybe more so than he is now.” She takes Tony’s hand. “Call the suit to yourself.” 

“What?”

“Call the suit to yourself, darling. Just trust me.”

Tony frowns a little, but does as he’s told, pressing the bracelet on his wrist. He opens his eyes and sees the ground rushing up to meet him. With a gasp, he flips, looking for some way to slow his descent. Then he’s being encased by the suit. He blasts back into the air, sighing in relief. He heads back to the penthouse, Jarvis taking the suit off as he walks across the platform. “Damn,” he says, sinking onto the couch.

“Tony!” Steve yells as he breaks through the door. “Shit. Are you okay?” Steve slides to a stop next to the couch. He kneels next to him, feeling Tony all over. “Anything broken?” 

“Steve?” Tony blinks and bites back a moan when Steve slides his hand over Tony’s chest. “Uhm. No nothing’s broken. Where did you come from?” 

“I was on my way over to give you a Christmas present when I saw you falling off the roof. What the hell were you doing on the roof?!” 

“Just... contemplating life.” Tony smiles and takes Steve’s hands, stilling their motions over his hips. “Steve, why were you bringing me a Christmas present?” 

“Because... it’s Christmas.”

“Steve, don’t bullshit a bullshitter.” 

“Because I’ve missed you. Because I didn’t want to spend Christmas without you. Oh God when I saw you fall... My heart stopped. All I could do was watch and I knew even if I somehow managed to get under you...” Steve bites back the rest of whatever he was going to say and cup Tony’s face. “You have to be more careful. My God, Tony, it took you so long to call the suit, I wasn’t sure you were going to.” 

“I... I think I blacked out for a minute.” Tony covers Steve’s hand, smiling softly. “Steve...” He licks his lips. “I think I love you.”

Steve’s eyebrows shoot up and then he smiles, leaning in and kisses Tony. “I love you too.” 

Tony gives a little laugh and slides his arms around Steve’s waist. “Spend Christmas with me?”

“Happily.” Steve slides his arms around Tony and stands up. “You’re freezing cold. Let’s get you into a nice warm bath. Then I know the rest of the team is coming over to celebrate Christmas with you.” 

Tony wraps his legs around Steve’s waist and nods. “Sounds like a perfect Christmas to me.”


End file.
